Thank you so much to Alison for sharing this beautiful poem. Alison told us: "I use poetry a lot in the carers support group that I run and sometimes use it to trigger conversation. As they come from my heart, I find that people respond to them, as it makes them realise that they are not alone in how they are feeling."
Where is my man
By Alison Birket
Where is the lovely man that I married,
who shared my life and who’s love I’ve cherished?
Where is the man who would hold me tight
and snuggle beside me through the night?
This lovely man no longer knows how to cuddle
So when I give him a hug it results in a muddle.
Where is the man who could take control?
who would shop and cook and have a DIY role,
who built walls and cupboards, and did the electrics too,
who can now look at a knife and not know what to do.
Where is my man who poems would write,
who now can’t even get his signature right?
Where is my man who with the Morris men danced
who can’t now stand on his own, and will fall if given the chance?
Where is the man who would win every quiz
but now has no concept of time or where he is?
Where is my man who could manage his own medication
but now grits his teeth, or spits it back out without hesitation?
Where is the man who could down a pint in one go
but now can choke on his drink, no matter how slow?
Where is my man who used to enjoy a rare steak
but now needs reminding a pureed spoonful to take?
Where is my man who would sing, whilst doing the cooking
but now only grunts as he stared into space without really looking?
Where is my man, who would show so much interest in what I’d been doing,
who now needs to know where I am, to stop anxiety brewing?
Where is my darling whose eyes would twinkle, with a wicked grin,
which occasionally happens and helps me to see,
that he’s still there within.
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